Time Can Change Your Heart.

May 04, 2011 is a day that my life changed. I was experiencing a painful loss.

I arrived at the hospital to undergo a D&C. My body wasn't letting go of a failed pregnancy.  I got a "just in case ultrasound" when we discovered that I was pregnant with 2 babies. At this moment I got really mad. I was mad at my body for failing me and these two,little lives. I couldn't let this happen again so I opted for a tubal ligation. Keep in mind I was in a very emotional state and not prepared for a decision so permanent. Regardless I left that hospital empty and broken. For along time I thought that protecting myself was the best thing I could do for me. Little did I know that that wasn't what I needed. We are made in a certain way and our bodily functions work together. I believe that by disrupting my natural flow within my body it set off a imbalance of sorts. For the last 3 years I have dealt with a number of ailments within me. I have lost and maintained my weight which has helped a lot. I still felt like I needed to put things back to where they needed to be. We have contiplated a reversal for years now. It took a lot of prayer and discussions to take the leap. I had filshie clips put on my tubes so it should be an easy fix. I saw a very experienced Dr. That will be doing the surgery. I'm very excited and nervous about my surgery. My Dr. Has done over 4000 of these surgeries and is very confident in its success. I will be going under the knife in just 11 short days.

Now what about more babies???  Well that is going to be out of my hands. If the Lord wants to bless us with more than so be it. If we are good with our 5 than that is fine. I really want to be content with whatever is intended for me and enjoy my family without a hormonal imbalance.

I will update as much as I can during my journey. I really need a place to get my feeling out as I don't know anyone that is going through what I'm going through.